Ask me no HR questions

first_imgThis week’s guruAsk me no HR questions’ and I’ll tell you no liesGuru had the pleasure of joining Nicky Campbell on Radio Five Live last weekin an intellectual debate on the rights of single people at work. In the pursuit of media glory, Guru had to argue that the raft of workplacelegislation introduced over the past few years protects married employees whohave children. As everyone knows, this places an unfair burden on the young,free and single. There was just one problem with this line of argument – Guru has sevenchildren at the last count and has been married for what seems like decades. Fortunately, though, the listeners weren’t interested and before Guru gotrumbled, they were phoning in to ask what Guru’s favourite Jack Lemmon film is,and whether PFI would deliver improved public services – subjects that Gurucould at least give an honest answer to. (“Some Like It Hot”, and”possibly”, for those too busy to tune in to Nicky Campbell.) Law will ensure leaner fat catsWhat’s the difference between a shopping trolley and a non-executivedirector? Shopping trolleys have a mind of their own, and you can get more foodand drink into a non-executive director. While this is still the view the media holds of those important bastions ofbusiness, Guru was told in no uncertain way at the Watson Wyatt/CIPD conferenceon directors’ pay, that this is no longer the case. While legislation rapidly approaches which will force companies to justifyhow directors’ remuneration is determined, non-executive directors need notfear media accusations of idleness. They’ll be kept busy as fully paid-upmembers of the remuneration committees. Full house at every meetingMeetings at PPG Industries haven’t been the same since it got gripped bylingo bingo. Guru’s HR pals at the US multinational reckon they have come upwith the definitive list. They defy anyone to get through a meeting without hearing one of thefollowing: “results driven; proactive not reactive; a win-win situation;think outside the box; the full nine yards; core business; put this one to bed,left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing, box it off, the big pictureand finally (more appropriately) let’s kick this one into touch.” deliverchange. Ask me no HR questionsOn 10 Jul 2001 in Personnel Today Comments are closed. Related posts:No related photos. Previous Article Next Articlelast_img read more